Gray Heat
by Wemmabby
Summary: "I miss you a lot. Just so you know, it's okay if you don't come out, I understand. I'll still love you no matter where you are. Here, there, somewhere faraway… We'll always be sisters. I just wish we could be better friends."


_Gray Heat_

Can you imagine how BORING eternal isolation would be? I mean, no people, no chocolate, NOTHING! Why Elsa wanted that life was beyond me. After a while I started making up explanations in my head; Elsa was agoraphobic. Elsa was socially impaired. Elsa didn't like me. Okay, I wasn't too fond of the latter possibility, but after years and years of my sister ignoring my pleas, the idea didn't seem too far off. Maybe she distasted _all_ life on Earth. Nevertheless, how could someone want to be alone?

And then it hit me. Maybe, maybe Elsa didn't _want _to live in solitude. Maybe something was confining her to that tiny room, something that she feared so much; so much that she couldn't talk about it.

Still, there was an unbridgeable gap left between us. That's the worst feeling in the world; knowing that you can't help someone when they need your help the most. I wanted to help my sister express whatever she was feeling. When I was little, I'd write some questions for Elsa on a sheet of paper and slip them under her door, hoping that maybe, she'd find the strength to answer them.

_What's your favorite color? _I'd scribble across the paper. _Blue, _she'd write back, in her beautiful, loopy cursive script that my choppy printing would never live up to.

_Whatcha doin' in there? _A blank space.

_Why don't we talk so much? _A blank space.

_Do you wanna build a snowman? _Another blank space.

I wrote out those same four questions every single day. Elsa always gave the same, single response.

At twelve years old I had a much better way with words. I gave Elsa letters, upon letters, upon letters.

* * *

_To my sister-_

_I really want you to come out and talk to me. It's lonely here all by myself. I suppose that room is feeling a bit desolate as well. Just come out for a minute so we can see each other. I won't make you talk if you don't want to. And you can go right back in afterwards, I swear I'll never bother you again._

_-Your sister_

* * *

_Elsa-_

_I miss you a lot. Just so you know, it's okay if you don't come out, I understand. I'll still love you no matter where you are. Here, there, somewhere faraway… We'll always be sisters. I just wish we could be better friends._

_-Anna_

* * *

_Elsa-_

_There's a good chance you're not going to answer this, but why do you like to be alone?_

_-Anna_

* * *

A few days later I went to see Elsa again, that being when she hesitantly slid a small, folded notecard beneath the door.

"Are you sure you want me to read this, Elsa?" I asked.

No response. So I opened it.

* * *

_Dear Anna,_

_I have to protect you. This is the only way I can. I hope you'll understand someday._

_Love, Elsa._

* * *

It was the first time she'd written anything other than "blue," and it was amazing. But I wanted to see her. I wanted to look her in the eyes and tell her how much I loved her. I opted for writing another letter.

* * *

_Elsa,_

_First off, thank you for writing back. I know how hard it is for you. But I'd just like to know how separating the two of us can be beneficial._

_I love you. –Anna_

_Dearest Anna,_

_I have to protect you. I love you more than you will ever know, which is why we can't be together. That's all that matters._

_-E._

* * *

_Elsa,_

_I don't like your new signature too much because it doesn't involve your entire, beautiful name, and I would prefer your name over any other signature._

_Pleeeaaassseee stop protecting me from whatever you're protecting me from, because I'm not afraid of it and if it means we get to see each other, then I think it's worth it._

_-A (because, really, you asked for it.)_

* * *

_Sweet Anna,_

_Your safety is my first concern. _

_Love, Elsa._

* * *

_Elsa- _

_It doesn't have to be this way. You don't have to look out for me anymore. I think that being together would help out more than being apart, anyway._

_-Anna_

* * *

After a few years, you get tired of waiting for another vague response from someone who's booted you out of their life. I gave up. I lost my parents. I lost Elsa. I lost myself.

I couldn't have begged her enough to come out of there. I was so angry with her, but it all came storming out of me through raging, despondent sobs.

"Please," I whimpered repeatedly. "Please, please, please." It was like she couldn't even hear it. Out of everything spiteful I've ever said to my sister, I regret my next bitter comment the most.

"That frozen heart of yours has never gotten you far, anyway." I left.


End file.
